Monday, April 28, 2008

Duranmas Duranmas is May 10th!

It's that time of year again -- nearly time for Duranmas Duranmas! Well, not again, but actually "for the first time ever". At any rate the date is drawing near, and because there's still some confusion about it, I've prepared a handy and informative FAQ file to get everyone caught up. Read it!

What the hell is "Duranmas Duranmas"?
Duranmas Duranmas is the highest holy day of The Church of New Wave. It celebrates the day that Duran Duran's "Rio" album was released in 1982, and the Apostles of the Church have agreed that this day is a good one for celebrating All Things 80's.

Who are they?
Duran Duran? Dude! They were a new wave/new romantic band fro--

No, I mean, who are the Apostles?
Oh. Uh, me.

Why should Duran Duran's "Rio" represent All Things 80s, though?
Because you can't say "Duran Duran's 'Rio' " and not think 80's. If you say, "Dude, legwarmers!" or "Rubik's Cube!", someone else can say, "Yeah, my sister wears those to ballet practice" or "Aisle 5, next to Scene It." Plus, it's funny. Duranmas Duranmas. Heh heh heh.

What's the 'Church of the New Wave' thing? Is that like the Discordian Society, only...more...neon?
Yes! It is very much like the Discordian Society! Except that it's less about philosophy and more about synthpop, and no ones smokes pot or drops acid. So it is nothing like the Discordian Society at all.

What are the core beliefs of this 'Church', then?
You're thinking too hard.

Well, does it actually represent a belief in anything?
You know when you're driving down the street listening to the radio and "She Blinded Me With Science" comes on and you just start singing it because you can? That's our core belief.

Does the Church of the New Wave recognize God, Jesus, Satan, Heaven, Hell,Xenu and stuff like that?
Nope. There's no praying, or cosmology, or anything. Just kind of a general pro-80's pop sentiment. The Church thing is just so we can get away with calling it a "holiday". As for the dudes, uh...well...we have St Benatar, Our Lady Of Belonging And Hitting With Your Best Shot, but that's mostly because it's funny. Our Satan is Dee Snyder, but he's not really evil -- selling out to drug companies, however, is.

Dee Snyder isn't New Wave.
That's not a question.

*sigh* Okay, okay. Why Dee Snyder? Dee Snyder isn't New W--

Man, you're testy! Why are you so testy?
I skipped my Yaz this morning.

How does one celebrate Duranmas Duranmas?
I dunno. May 10 2008 is the first one ever, so hell if I know. Anything I can suggest to do would be stuff that I do on a daily basis anyway, but if cranking up "Don't You Want Me?" in the drive-thru at CVS or watching "Miami Vice" for no damn good reason seems like celebrating to you, then...

Are you aware of how stupid this is?
Psssshhht. Totally, fool. What's your point?

I thought I was asking the questions.
Who are you, anyway?

Well, who are you?!
I'm Doc Rotwang! Didn't you read the thing at the top of the blog where I--

Wait -- isn't this a gaming blog? What's this have to do with gaming?!

Where'd you go?

Doc? Doc...Doc, I'm sorry, I -- I just got a little flustered, and I guess I...

Fine. Be that way. You're a jerk.