Thursday, January 25, 2007

PBEM, Sort Of

Now and again, I get to jonesin' for a game, but I'm at work. So I play a version of "The Letters Game" with my co-worker, Anjiko-Z (not her real name). She's the one who gave me the peas.

In case you don't know, "The Letters Game" (one of its many names) is played like this: you write in-character letters to the other players. They respond in-character, reacting to whatever you sent them, and vice-versa. That's...pretty much it.

Anjiko-Z and I sometimes pretend we're executives at a huge Japanese megacorp. I'd like to share with you an exchange that occurred this morning, not only because it's a fun little activity for gamers without an immediate group at hand, but also because I almost sprayed my coffee all over the monitor.

Plus it's been a while since I posted.

Numbers are in for 1st quarter. I thought you'd like to see the precis.
Records and receipts show that as of 1st Quarter 2007, Konoyaro Corp.'s revenue amounts to $4,886,000,000. Of this, 35.89% is generated by advertising response, 25.66% is generated by direct marketing, 12.02% is generated by extortion/blackmail/browbeating incentives for consumers to buy our products, and 8.98% of our revenue is generated directly by impulse-driven buys at the gas station.
The real Cinderella story, however, is the revenue from government contracts, which now accounts for 17.45% of our gross intake. This is a full $28,000,000 dollars -- up from last year's gov't. contract revenue of only $455,000. This represents an increase of over 615.38%. It would seem that the timely election of Sen. Bobo Mattingly to Congress has been a most fortunate event for our company.
Other reports, however, suggest that this boom may be temporary. Although no one seems to have caught on that Congressman Mattingly is our man in Washington, some people are close to figuring out that he's a chimp. If that happens...
Your thoughts, please?
Konoyaro Corp.

Fudo San
Thank you for this detailed report. It is good to know that Konoyaro Corp has shown such improvements. However in order to keep this from being a temportary event I move that we identify the ones who are suspicious of our primate congressman and eliminate them. And by eliminate I mean give them each a giant robot and a trip to hawaii.
Either that or we could always shave the chimp to make him look more human. It fooled your mom.