Friday, January 20, 2012

The Dukes of Biohazzard: Chapter 0

A Mini-Six Game of Post-Apocalyptic Crick-Jumpin' Mayhem

INTRODUCTION; or, "What The Stink IS This?!"
Well, it's a Mini-Six Game of Post-Apocalyptic Crick-Jumpin' Mayhem. It was inspired by a comment made some years ago on a blog, or on a gamig forum, or something. It is driven by my desire to see how much of a game supplement I can write on my luch hour, while listening to "The Best Of Al Jarreau".

Yeah. It's like that.

More salient to your interests, "The Dukes of Biohazzard" is an action/comedy game set in a mutated future USA, where all the PCs are cousins, there are cars to drive and wreck, fuel to distill up in the mountains and semi-intelligent electric kudzu. If you're of a certain age, let me just say "Mad Max Meets The Dukes Of Hazzard At Thundarr's", and it will all make sense.


THE SETTING; or, "Where The Stink does this happen?!"
Look, matey, I'm not gonna lie to you--this setting is pretty vague, but you've probably figured out that it's not the type of setting that ought to be anything BUT vague. Still and all, here's where we are and how we got there...

1980: WHOOPS!
The world was on the brink of nuclear war. The United States and the United Socialist Soviet Republics had been ratlling their giant thermonuclear sabres at each other for the last, like, twenty-five years. Tensions mounted, ideologies clashed, political alliances swayed and The Village People sold out stadiums. Truly the stage was set for the end of times.

From a remote base on the far side of the Moon, a team of Traxelian scientists observed the conflicts closely, using their advanced alien technology (they were aliens) to remain hidden and study the Earth's human population. The Traxelian Xenosociologists at the base had been gathering data for five years straight, looking for signs of intelligence. They'd found it right away, but hesitated to publish their results until such time as they had mapped a few select trends in human sociological development and thus had some nifty charts to submit with their papers. 
Of these scientists, one team in particular had been assigned to study the effects of mass media communications on societal development, specifically as related to variety programs. The team had been fascinated by the content of a short-lived television program starring American comedian Jeff Altman and Japanese singers Mitsuyo Nemoto and Keiko Masuda, who together comprised the singing duo Pink Lady (well, the girls did, not Jeff). The program recieved poor viewership reactions on Earth (not so on the Traxilonian base), and the network struggled to find a successful time slot for it. 
The Traxilonians struggled to keep up with the scheduling changes and soon became frustrated. In their efforts, they attempted to set up a surface listening station outside of the production studio--a compact device that would register and transmit tiny variations in the local environment. The team applied for clearance to deploy the sensor package, and received it right away. On April 4th, 1980, the Traxilonian lander set down in Hollywood California, and began broadcasting via tight microwave beam to the Traxilonian base.

The signals were detected by the US Military, reported to the CIA, misidentified as a Russian plot, and caused World War III.

2012: DANG!
32 years later, Earth's all mutated up and stuff. It all looks like rural Alabama, only with glowing plants and weird messed-up creatures and like that.

This is the world of "The Dukes of Biohazzard".