Dungeon as Diagram

Hats off to Flynn, who wrote this and got me thinking about doing stuff like this:

CLICK FOR BIG

Have fun!

Adventure Diagram, Yaay!

I like this idea of mapping out an adventure as a diagram.  Each of your major scenes goes in a box, and connecting lines lead from scene to scene based on decisions and success or failure, with notes along the way.

So I made this one with OpenOffice Draw, 'cause it's set right the zip up for such stuff.  This plot here is fairly linear, and it requires a few more notes (which one would append maybe as a second sheet), but it's enough to get you through.

CLICK IT

I have no idea how it ends, though...

I Made Some Paper Minis.

They're tiny but you can have 'em.  Used Junior General's masters as a start.  Fun.  You can too.

Mongoose Traveller + Prime Directive = Sorry About Your Dog

Earmuffs?  For the dog, maybe, I mean?  'Cause I just found out that Mongoose and Amarillo Design Bureau are collaborating on a Traveller-based Prime Directive game, and I SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Sorry; sorry, that's -- this, uh...this is just cool.  To me.  It's -- I like it.  It sounds good.

It's unusual for me, these days, to be excited about a new game release.  I haven't been for a very long time now -- not since StarSIEGE, really, and that was -- whoa, three years ago?  Wow, yeah.  That's crazy.

Anyway.  Trav rules feel like a good fit for Shirtless-Kirk-Era Treknanigans, especially with the career tables and all ("Okay, so...Security branch.  First term served.  Survival throw: 14-plus.  Wait,what the f--?!"), plus the --

PICTURED: Proper use of Carousing-1.

-- I'm just diggin' it.

Revisting Tri-Stat dX

This'll be a brief post 'cause I gotta go take a shower and go out for chinese for Father's Day here pretty soon, but -- hey, remember this guy?

Pinched from the Retrospective Caveman blog, but saved locally.

 I pulled it off the shelf last night and made a character this morning.  It ain't half bad!

The whole Magnum Opus thing kinda didn't fly...too bad, really.  'Least I still have a copy or three.

Okay, shower.  Can't take me to Golden China if I'm all stinky!

Wherein I Pass Judgement Upon "Microscope"

A buddy of mine, who is a World-Famous Comic-Book Artist, brought over his copy, and some other dudes came over, and my kid busied herself playing on the Monster High website, and we had a go at it.

My impression:

Microscope : Aria - Canticle of the Monomyth ::  Aspirin  : Trepanation

OSR Emperor, you say...?

Over at The Grand Tapestry, Timeshadows asks:

When Will the OSR Emperor Arise, Bringing Peace to the Warring Provences?

To my dear and esteemed fellow blogger, and to all others who have functional circulatory systems, I offer this answer:

I am he, here I am, and YOU KIDS KNOCK IT OFF AND JUST PLAY HOWEVER YOU'RE GONNA PLAY GODDAMMIT!

Once again, Dr Rotwang! strides in, valiant of purpose and tired of your bitching, and brings peace and prosperity with the edge of his shrill, annoying voice.

StarSIEGE: An Unnamed Campaign Setting (That Still Needs Work)

Following the 9-Minute Campaign Design notes from The Mule Abides, I managed to stretch this out into a...uh...4?  5? -hour long project.

Man, I'm gettin' old.

CLICK YOU SOME JUMP!

Wherein I Reply To Lord Blacksteel

Dude.  You weren't kidding.

It Serves You Right For Picking That Pocket

You got that player who likes to pick NPCs' pockets at random past the point where it ceases to be funny?  Yeah, you know the one.  Next time he gets on your nerves, let him pick a pocket, then roll a d20 and tell him that he finds --

1	A dead, stinky mouse. Who keeps a dead, stinky mouse in his pocket? Probably a wizard...or a necromancer. Right?
2	A half-eaten chicken leg.
3	A half-eaten raw chicken leg.
4	A small scrap of paper with the words "Red door on Bath Street – 'Ullmo'". Bath Street is somewhere in the city, and there is indeed on that street a house with a red door. If the PC goes there and knocks, he will be asked for the password (Ullmo). Upon giving it, the PC is allowed entry to the house...which hosts a halfling quilting circle. The PC will be expected to participate.
5	A dirty handkerchief. Save vs. Poison at a -4 penalty or contract a nasty flu (½ HP and -2 to-hit for 1d4+1 days).
6	A human finger, freshly severed. But whose? And why was it in somebody's pocket?
7	3 gold coins struck with an unusual symbol. No merchant will take them, and all are nervous when the coins are presented to them. The coins are "shadow coin" – they are used exclusively by a criminal network, and having them makes you noteworthy in all the worst ways.
8	A walnut. It can be eaten, but it's not very tasty.
9	The mark's pocket suddenly (and magically) constricts, trapping the pick-pocket's hand – no save! Needless to say, the owner notices...
10	A small, unsheathed razor blade. 1d4 damage and saving throw vs. Spells to avoid crying out in surprise.
11	3 silver pieces and a small ruby. Exciting! Closer inspection reveals them to be 3 pewter pieces and a chunk of glass.
12	A small pouch containing about 5 grams of a dark, pungent tobacco. It is of value (3d6 sp) only to a tobacconist who recognizes it as Matarkian Blackshank – and that is a rare tobacconist indeed! Who dares smoke it soon has his mouth taste like he just stuffed it with ashes and sauerkraut and lit the whole thing with a burning cow turd.
13	A key, grubby and blackened with age. It opens a chest in the basement of a tavern called The Shackled Priestess. The chest contains a soul jar within which is imprisoned the tavern's eponymous priestess, placed there sixty years ago by a jealous lover (the owner of the tavern). Finding and releasing her spirit, and matching it back to her body (turned to stone and hidden as a statue in a local temple) would be a great adventure with a great reward...if the pickpocket can only figure out where to start.
14	A finger-length wooden carving of a mastiff.  1d4 rounds after it is taken from the mark's pocket, it transforms into a real mastiff -- which, finding itself before someone other than its master, attacks.
15	A sticky wad of pine tar. It's hard to remove, and leaves the pickpocket with a strong, noticeable aroma for a day or two, making it hard not to draw attention.
16	The mark's coin purse will not budge – it is as though it weighed hundreds of pounds, yet its owner carries it with ease! It is obviously magical, but – how to acquire it...?
17	A scrap of paper listing five names. Four are crossed out. The fifth is that of the pickpocket.  75% chance that it is but a trick to fool would-be pickpockets; 10% that it's someone else with the same name.  Otherwise, the mark is an assassin with the PC's name on his list.
18	3d12 live caterpillars.
19	3d12 dead caterpillars.
20	The exact contents of the thief's own pocket, taken from his own pocket and pulled through the aetherial plane and onto his mark's pocket.

Redemption Zombies

It's a nice Sunday.  Enjoy it, won't you?

THIS IS A THING TO DO

GO DO IT NOW!

Wherein I Am Banned From RPG.Net

Dig this RPG Site post, where Sgt. Space Wizard has some nice words to say about me after Kyle Aaron reports that I was told don't come around RPG.Net no more.

HA HA HA HA GET IT?!

News to me.  I tried to log into The Big Purple and did so successfully.

So, no, I have not been banned from RPG.Net.  I did stop posting there, but that's because I got tired of the place.

Record's straight.

FOUND IT!

Okay.  It's cool.

"WTF" Is For "Has Anyone Seen My Copy Of The D&D World Builder's Guidebook?!"

Dammit!  I can't find it ! 

I know it's around my house somewhere -- I had it just the other day.  My house is small!  It's not like it could've gone far!  WHERE THE FROG IS MY FREAKING WORLD BUILDER'S GUIDEBOOK?!



Don't be OCD and disorganized, kids. 

As If I Needed Another Reason To Be Excited About RC D&D

...I have come across ken-do-nim's House Rules & Clarifications for Rules Cyclopedia Dungeons & Dragons.

Yessir!  It's amazinatin' what you might find if you spend a little while goofin' around on Dragonsfoot.org now and then.  You find stuff like this!  S'got some house rules, errata and clarifications (like it says on the tin) and some cool new sub-classes, some tweaked combat sequencing, revised weapon mastery charts for the rapier (culled from Voyage of the Princss Ark),  plus also there is stuff like this which I love very much:

 Go download it already.  I SAID GO DO THAT THING I JUST SAID TO DO.

Inkscape Is Hard!

...if you're a chump, which I is.  Work for an hour and what's a chump get?

  

...man, I gotta get better at this.

Inspiration. It...Strikes.

I'm in the habit of making a little PocketMod booklet and keeping it in my shirt pocket.  Why?  So I can write stuff on it when it occurs to me, you silly-head!

It's a good idea, too.  You should do it.  Then you, too, can come up with crazy fun dumb stupid stuff like this:

RRRRAAAAAAARRRRRGGHHH!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGHH!!!

I'VE HAD A ROUGH WEEK!

I REALLY  NEED TO GAME THIS WEEKEND!

ONLY IT PROBABLY WON'T HAPPEN ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE!

 

FURY!!!!!

I Want My D&D Game To Look Like A Cross Between...

...Fritz Lang's Siegfried and Ron Howard's Willow.

Oh, and plus also the stuff I posted yesterday.  That can be Castle Zagyg, or Greyhawk, right?

**EDITED** Fascination/Frustration

NOTE: I edited this post to include a word that was missing before.  Can you guess which one?

 Hmmmmmmm.

Got this new D&D campaign vibe in my head.  It looks like this:

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START!

BONUS LADYHAWKE-NESS:

Throwin' The Horns For Goblinoid Games

You read about how Goblinoid purchased the rights to Star Explorer?  I did, which is why I'm bringing it up.  Actually I'm bringing it up because I think that this is a hell of good idea.  And I'd never even heard of the game!

But what's totally rad about it -and the fact that they purchased Starships & Spacemen as well- is that, thanks to Goblinoid, these old games with charm and merit can stay in print and find a whole new audience.  I love this old stuff, and it tickles me that someone who has the capital to get 'em back on your table is getting 'em back on your table.

Rock on, Goblinoid Games.

I Have A Second Blog

...because, sometimes, I want to talk about things that are important to me but maybe not to you, there's Dirty Damn Filthy Damn Atheist!.

That is all.

Wherein I Make Up A Whole Bunch Of Goofy Character Names

I enjoy making up names for people, although truth be told, I never make up any really good ones.  No nonono, wait, scratch that --

-- I never make up any good serious ones.  I usually make up absurd names -- names like

• Spad Falco
• Baron Hotep Von Butane
• Sally Trans-Farino
• Miklos Bongaroo
• Hap Lashborough
• Zane O' The Tripeyard
• Wilma Frankenboobs
• Carmen del Burro
• Zyklo Feromatt IV
• Vaughn Likely
• Skip Ballastro
• Stansfield Stansfield
• Sir Ender of Chickendale
• Jean-Luc du Poisson-Petit
• Hyster Calumika
• Chi-Chi Zapatos
• Lord Holten Greenswaddle
• Cisnita Galcarminite
• LaTorfa Snackwell
• Boutros-Boutros Spiegelmann
• Tarsupia Golcarpia
• Chico San Dimas
• Razz Pistolas
• Slinko "The Reach" Roseburner
• Squint Teakley
• Lance Mannschaft
• Cliebus Van Der Yotte
• Fallopia Two-Dongs
• Deke Lumbar
• Xerxes O'Roone
• Plitz Sparnaug
• Inocencio Gritón
• Paal Slapfield
• Sergei Pantzaroff
• Michiko Ypsilanti-Frapp
• M'fwoobo Sakkasakkasakka III
• Lloyd the Distractor, Prilosec of Lunesta
• Brante Kleeg
• Cash Hamflaps
• Steg Humpfeller
• Aibos Fregenderias
• Helga Grossebruste
• Calternia Daxx
• Enrique Tres Pedos
• Sgt. Gorp, of the Police
• Linus Hybride
• Altrex Fornibaar
• Banjo Frampton
• Albercus Wolfhorker
• Tab Rasslins
• Comanche Joe Kiloton
• Reed Ruckus
• Duke Rialto, Lord of Treeshiner, Senechal of the Seven Yaps
• Pud Monkerby
• Macanuda Chelascalientes
• Fane Jonnda
• Palermofilo Kiqsaz
• Stangfark the Bombastic
• Tinkles O'Bleary
• Gorehack Rainbowpony
• Someone Else's Mom

...which are of no real use.  At all.

Re-Imagining the Invisible Stalker

Eh?  eh?  NICE.

Not Cool.

Look...nobody reads this blog, and anyone who might already knows this, but --

--Who the math is Lady Gaga, and why is she accused of ripping off Multinauts?

Rotwang! Approved.

Wait.  I'll do a little Googling.  Let's see...

What the fughwaaaAAAAAAA MY SAN POINTS!!!

 WHAT!  THE!  FU--FGHWAAAAAAAAAAAGGHH!!!! 

AAAAAAAH MUST CLEANSE BRAIN PALATE!  GOOGLE IMAGES, SAVE MY BRANE!

Say!  Am I CRUSHING?

...

...

...so, yeah.  Spread the word.

NO, NOT ABOUT MY CRUSH ON G1GS.  I'll spread that one myself.

Willikers.

Set somethin' off, didn't I.

D&D Is Dead.

You hear-uh, read me:  D&D is dead.

Dead.

Dead dead dead dead dead.

How can I say such a thing?  Am I out of my MIND?!  Am I just trolling? Do I even know what I'm talking about?

Easy.  No.  Nope.  Yes.

D&D as a brand name -and that's exactly what it is to the holder of that specific IP- is past its prime.  I don't care what D&D Brand Fantasy Gaming Tomfoolery does, or doesn't do.  The only reason it has any relevance anywhere is because of the brand-name recognition -- in other words, someone somewhere cares what D&D Brand Fantasy Gaming Tomfoolery does, or doesn't do. 

I think it's time to stop.

D&D the game, the hobby, the influence, the legacy, the thing -- that mofo's immortal.  People are playing it, people are cloning it, people are rolling their own.  Your Favorite Edition may or may not still be in print, but print copies of it abound.  You can buy 'em, you can even, uh, acquire 'em.  You can choose from a bunch of clones like Labyrinth Lord or Castles & Crusades or Swords & Wizardry and about a ho-dozen others.  There are tons of existing rules sets and variants and supplements and, thanks to the OGL and the efforts of like-minded dorks without number, there are new rules sets and variants and supplements all the damn time. 

D&D as an activity is never, ever going away.

Why?

Because we support it.  Not because some company does, or doesn't -- because you do.  I do. 

D&D, name brand, belongs to a company.  That company is sticking the name on...I dunno what the fuck it is now.  I don't care what it is now.  Whatever.  No longer relevant.

D&D, legacy, love, distraction, camaraderie, fandom, game, activity, synergy of millions of nerd-hours of gleeful goof-whackery or thoughtful immersion into setting and role or enthusiastic exercise in creativity and shared world-building or wanton imaginary destruction and looting --

-- that D&D will never die.  It's bigger than its name.  It cannot be killed.    

Let D&D die, because D&D will forever live.

I Made A Radical ENCOUNTER CRITICAL Webring Image

...buuuuuuuuuut it's too big.

EDIT:  Well, maybe not!   Blogger's Photo gadget shrinkerates it to 187 pixels max, so...huh.  lookit that.

GAME REVIEW: Killer Thriller

Spooky Gloowwwwwww!

Killer Thriller
By Tony Lee
Published by Time Out Diversions
PDF, 28 pages
Costs ya $3.00

Tell ya somethin' 'bout Tony Lee, B-movies and gaming: dude gets it. 

See, anyone can "get" B-movies; they're not hard to figure out.  It's not hard to count up the tropes, sprinkle 'em across a set of RPG rules and play.  That's one thing.  It's another thing to "get" B-movie rules, and to turn those into RPG rules.  Either it's really hard to do right, or no one bothers trying, or both or something.  Me, I blame the leprechauns.

But Tony Lee gets it.  You can see it in 1997's Extreme Vengeance, a ridiculously fun paean to macho ass-kick movies.  You can see it some more in 2010's Killer Thriller, a game of  bloody schlock horror and, you know, that stuff. 

For the new game, Lee brings back the gleeful genre emulation of EV, the sincere understanding (and love!) of the b-movie groove fused with solid mechanics, set to a loosey-goosey "let's have fun, ya bastards!" beat.  Only trouble is, he brings back some bad habits as well.

Here, let me explain.

In its 28 pages, Killer Thriller (KT) presents to you a set of rules designed with one simple purpose:  Get all your (multiple) characters, who have close to no chance at defeating the bad guy, killed off in gruesome manner -- that is, all your characters except for one, who will become a lone survivor who DOES have a chance at defeating the bad guy.

Yeah, I know it sounds weird.  Multiple characters?  Kill 'em all off?!  What the Funyons, right?  Dude, it's a horror movie.  That's what they're about. The monster runs the show until there's just one person left -- and then the rules seem to change.  Right?

ESPECIALLY if armed with a cat.

So it is in KT.  Your characters are defined by negative traits -- not negative in ranking, but in purpose.  In fact, they're called "Inabilities".  Your characters don't have an intelligence score; they have an Unwise score, defined by the game as "the inherent stupidity of all b-move characters that compels them to follow a path of fresh entrails into a deserted mine shaft or some such".  Your characters are Unlucky and they can come Undone.  Rolls aren't made against these traits with success in mind; you're hoping for failure.  Is Louie the Arrogant Breakdancer, who is fleeing a big damn monster, unlucky enough to slip on a pool of his late homey's blood?  Roll and see; if you get less than his Unluck score, then...yeah.  He's toast.  Is Sheila the Virginal Babysitter too dumb to stay away from that pulsating door?  Probably; to keep her from messing with it, you have to roll higher than her Unwise.  These numbers are pretty high ones, by the way...

Characters also spend a while (that's a while) being Unharmed, until such time as they bite the big one.  At that point Lee shows his cleverness: a dead character transfers his or her full amount of Unharm (aka "hit") points to another character, buffing up said recipient for The Final Showdown.  Furthermore, the if the death is messy, there's a bonus amount of Unharm points to transfer -- and another such bonus for getting your characters killed without die rolls and so on.  Here's where players are encouraged to endanger their characters and get them all pureéd so that one last holdout may live.  It's in keeping with the genre, and it's aces -- mostly.  

Oh, I'll come back to that.

Anyway.  The game is dotted with beautiful, simple, elegant little rules like that.  Guns, for instance, which would in a sane world work wonders against a psycho killer, in this jacked-up grindhouse reality work just fine...but their use penalizes further actions.  Giving characters Stereotypes allows for an in-game bonus by playing to type.  Your characters can even have creepy-cool powers -- for all the good it'll do 'em. 

Yeah, no caption required.

The most brilliant rule, though, is the "Last Survivor" rule.  See, all game long, the monsters don't make any rolls; they always succeed, and the characters are the ones who have to "save against" attacks and stuff.  But when it's down to just monsters and Last Survivors, the rules flip over, and the monster has to save against stuff.  It's beautiful, it's simple, it's elegant.

Okay, now here's the other shoe.  Actually, there are multiple other shoes, but we're talking monsters here so, you know, having, like five feet isn't all that uncommon.

There's a big weak spot in KT and, sorrowfully, it branches from the very thing that drives the game: There's no incentive to keep characters alive. There is a famous horror movie axiom, credited to Joe Bob Briggs: "Anybody can die at any time".  Who's next?  When?  In the movies KT seeks to emulate, it's a primary source of tension.  Applied mechanically in the game, it's a convenience.  This is, in my estimation, the game's deadliest mechanical weak spot.  There's really nothing keeping players from having their characters stick their heads into wood chippers in the first scene or so, just to get buffs. 

Or to create iconic images.

Well, the GM could stop them.  But the GM section is more focused on establishing chaos than it is on capturing that b-movie feel.  To a certain degree, that's expected; after all, b-movies aren't known for being character studies, or for having clever, immersive plots.  But the GM section seems to encourage a "screw it, let the heads fly!" attitude a little too much.  As I said before, Tony Lee gets this stuff.  I'd love to know a little more about how he "gets" it.

You do, however, get to read a lot of his jokes.  The tone of his writing is very informal, very friendly -- but sometimes it feels like Tony is just trying too hard, and it gets uncomfortable.  What's worse is that it gets in the way of reading those swanky rules.  Many times I found myself back-tracking over a passage to dig out the meat I'd missed before, and in some cases, I found basic, integral concepts explained to me after they'd been used, replacing a bunch of Huh?s with an Oh, NOW y'tell me.  This tone was kind of a problem in Extreme Vengeance, and although I defended it there, here I will tut-tut and mention how many times I had to flip back through pages.

And speaking of pages:  Page numbers are a little, tiny detail.  No page numbers are kind of annoying.

Now...let me make a point very clear, here, as a reviewer.  The only reason I'm railing on these details is because I see them as cringe-worthy flaws in an otherwise clever, outstanding and totally tubular game.

So.  Is it worth your three bucks?  Yeah, totally.  Buy it, mess with it, play it.  Have fun, damn it.  Encourage Tony Lee and Time Out Diversions to keep on truckin'...

...and to keep sharpening the blade.

If you know what I mean.