Throwin' The Horns For Goblinoid Games

You read about how Goblinoid purchased the rights to Star Explorer?  I did, which is why I'm bringing it up.  Actually I'm bringing it up because I think that this is a hell of good idea.  And I'd never even heard of the game!

But what's totally rad about it -and the fact that they purchased Starships & Spacemen as well- is that, thanks to Goblinoid, these old games with charm and merit can stay in print and find a whole new audience.  I love this old stuff, and it tickles me that someone who has the capital to get 'em back on your table is getting 'em back on your table.

Rock on, Goblinoid Games.

I Have A Second Blog

...because, sometimes, I want to talk about things that are important to me but maybe not to you, there's Dirty Damn Filthy Damn Atheist!.

That is all.

Wherein I Make Up A Whole Bunch Of Goofy Character Names

I enjoy making up names for people, although truth be told, I never make up any really good ones.  No nonono, wait, scratch that --

-- I never make up any good serious ones.  I usually make up absurd names -- names like

• Spad Falco
• Baron Hotep Von Butane
• Sally Trans-Farino
• Miklos Bongaroo
• Hap Lashborough
• Zane O' The Tripeyard
• Wilma Frankenboobs
• Carmen del Burro
• Zyklo Feromatt IV
• Vaughn Likely
• Skip Ballastro
• Stansfield Stansfield
• Sir Ender of Chickendale
• Jean-Luc du Poisson-Petit
• Hyster Calumika
• Chi-Chi Zapatos
• Lord Holten Greenswaddle
• Cisnita Galcarminite
• LaTorfa Snackwell
• Boutros-Boutros Spiegelmann
• Tarsupia Golcarpia
• Chico San Dimas
• Razz Pistolas
• Slinko "The Reach" Roseburner
• Squint Teakley
• Lance Mannschaft
• Cliebus Van Der Yotte
• Fallopia Two-Dongs
• Deke Lumbar
• Xerxes O'Roone
• Plitz Sparnaug
• Inocencio Gritón
• Paal Slapfield
• Sergei Pantzaroff
• Michiko Ypsilanti-Frapp
• M'fwoobo Sakkasakkasakka III
• Lloyd the Distractor, Prilosec of Lunesta
• Brante Kleeg
• Cash Hamflaps
• Steg Humpfeller
• Aibos Fregenderias
• Helga Grossebruste
• Calternia Daxx
• Enrique Tres Pedos
• Sgt. Gorp, of the Police
• Linus Hybride
• Altrex Fornibaar
• Banjo Frampton
• Albercus Wolfhorker
• Tab Rasslins
• Comanche Joe Kiloton
• Reed Ruckus
• Duke Rialto, Lord of Treeshiner, Senechal of the Seven Yaps
• Pud Monkerby
• Macanuda Chelascalientes
• Fane Jonnda
• Palermofilo Kiqsaz
• Stangfark the Bombastic
• Tinkles O'Bleary
• Gorehack Rainbowpony
• Someone Else's Mom

...which are of no real use.  At all.

Re-Imagining the Invisible Stalker

Eh?  eh?  NICE.

Not Cool.

Look...nobody reads this blog, and anyone who might already knows this, but --

--Who the math is Lady Gaga, and why is she accused of ripping off Multinauts?

Rotwang! Approved.

Wait.  I'll do a little Googling.  Let's see...

What the fughwaaaAAAAAAA MY SAN POINTS!!!

 WHAT!  THE!  FU--FGHWAAAAAAAAAAAGGHH!!!! 

AAAAAAAH MUST CLEANSE BRAIN PALATE!  GOOGLE IMAGES, SAVE MY BRANE!

Say!  Am I CRUSHING?

...

...

...so, yeah.  Spread the word.

NO, NOT ABOUT MY CRUSH ON G1GS.  I'll spread that one myself.

Willikers.

Set somethin' off, didn't I.

D&D Is Dead.

You hear-uh, read me:  D&D is dead.

Dead.

Dead dead dead dead dead.

How can I say such a thing?  Am I out of my MIND?!  Am I just trolling? Do I even know what I'm talking about?

Easy.  No.  Nope.  Yes.

D&D as a brand name -and that's exactly what it is to the holder of that specific IP- is past its prime.  I don't care what D&D Brand Fantasy Gaming Tomfoolery does, or doesn't do.  The only reason it has any relevance anywhere is because of the brand-name recognition -- in other words, someone somewhere cares what D&D Brand Fantasy Gaming Tomfoolery does, or doesn't do. 

I think it's time to stop.

D&D the game, the hobby, the influence, the legacy, the thing -- that mofo's immortal.  People are playing it, people are cloning it, people are rolling their own.  Your Favorite Edition may or may not still be in print, but print copies of it abound.  You can buy 'em, you can even, uh, acquire 'em.  You can choose from a bunch of clones like Labyrinth Lord or Castles & Crusades or Swords & Wizardry and about a ho-dozen others.  There are tons of existing rules sets and variants and supplements and, thanks to the OGL and the efforts of like-minded dorks without number, there are new rules sets and variants and supplements all the damn time. 

D&D as an activity is never, ever going away.

Why?

Because we support it.  Not because some company does, or doesn't -- because you do.  I do. 

D&D, name brand, belongs to a company.  That company is sticking the name on...I dunno what the fuck it is now.  I don't care what it is now.  Whatever.  No longer relevant.

D&D, legacy, love, distraction, camaraderie, fandom, game, activity, synergy of millions of nerd-hours of gleeful goof-whackery or thoughtful immersion into setting and role or enthusiastic exercise in creativity and shared world-building or wanton imaginary destruction and looting --

-- that D&D will never die.  It's bigger than its name.  It cannot be killed.    

Let D&D die, because D&D will forever live.

I Made A Radical ENCOUNTER CRITICAL Webring Image

...buuuuuuuuuut it's too big.

EDIT:  Well, maybe not!   Blogger's Photo gadget shrinkerates it to 187 pixels max, so...huh.  lookit that.

GAME REVIEW: Killer Thriller

Spooky Gloowwwwwww!

Killer Thriller
By Tony Lee
Published by Time Out Diversions
PDF, 28 pages
Costs ya $3.00

Tell ya somethin' 'bout Tony Lee, B-movies and gaming: dude gets it. 

See, anyone can "get" B-movies; they're not hard to figure out.  It's not hard to count up the tropes, sprinkle 'em across a set of RPG rules and play.  That's one thing.  It's another thing to "get" B-movie rules, and to turn those into RPG rules.  Either it's really hard to do right, or no one bothers trying, or both or something.  Me, I blame the leprechauns.

But Tony Lee gets it.  You can see it in 1997's Extreme Vengeance, a ridiculously fun paean to macho ass-kick movies.  You can see it some more in 2010's Killer Thriller, a game of  bloody schlock horror and, you know, that stuff. 

For the new game, Lee brings back the gleeful genre emulation of EV, the sincere understanding (and love!) of the b-movie groove fused with solid mechanics, set to a loosey-goosey "let's have fun, ya bastards!" beat.  Only trouble is, he brings back some bad habits as well.

Here, let me explain.

In its 28 pages, Killer Thriller (KT) presents to you a set of rules designed with one simple purpose:  Get all your (multiple) characters, who have close to no chance at defeating the bad guy, killed off in gruesome manner -- that is, all your characters except for one, who will become a lone survivor who DOES have a chance at defeating the bad guy.

Yeah, I know it sounds weird.  Multiple characters?  Kill 'em all off?!  What the Funyons, right?  Dude, it's a horror movie.  That's what they're about. The monster runs the show until there's just one person left -- and then the rules seem to change.  Right?

ESPECIALLY if armed with a cat.

So it is in KT.  Your characters are defined by negative traits -- not negative in ranking, but in purpose.  In fact, they're called "Inabilities".  Your characters don't have an intelligence score; they have an Unwise score, defined by the game as "the inherent stupidity of all b-move characters that compels them to follow a path of fresh entrails into a deserted mine shaft or some such".  Your characters are Unlucky and they can come Undone.  Rolls aren't made against these traits with success in mind; you're hoping for failure.  Is Louie the Arrogant Breakdancer, who is fleeing a big damn monster, unlucky enough to slip on a pool of his late homey's blood?  Roll and see; if you get less than his Unluck score, then...yeah.  He's toast.  Is Sheila the Virginal Babysitter too dumb to stay away from that pulsating door?  Probably; to keep her from messing with it, you have to roll higher than her Unwise.  These numbers are pretty high ones, by the way...

Characters also spend a while (that's a while) being Unharmed, until such time as they bite the big one.  At that point Lee shows his cleverness: a dead character transfers his or her full amount of Unharm (aka "hit") points to another character, buffing up said recipient for The Final Showdown.  Furthermore, the if the death is messy, there's a bonus amount of Unharm points to transfer -- and another such bonus for getting your characters killed without die rolls and so on.  Here's where players are encouraged to endanger their characters and get them all pureéd so that one last holdout may live.  It's in keeping with the genre, and it's aces -- mostly.  

Oh, I'll come back to that.

Anyway.  The game is dotted with beautiful, simple, elegant little rules like that.  Guns, for instance, which would in a sane world work wonders against a psycho killer, in this jacked-up grindhouse reality work just fine...but their use penalizes further actions.  Giving characters Stereotypes allows for an in-game bonus by playing to type.  Your characters can even have creepy-cool powers -- for all the good it'll do 'em. 

Yeah, no caption required.

The most brilliant rule, though, is the "Last Survivor" rule.  See, all game long, the monsters don't make any rolls; they always succeed, and the characters are the ones who have to "save against" attacks and stuff.  But when it's down to just monsters and Last Survivors, the rules flip over, and the monster has to save against stuff.  It's beautiful, it's simple, it's elegant.

Okay, now here's the other shoe.  Actually, there are multiple other shoes, but we're talking monsters here so, you know, having, like five feet isn't all that uncommon.

There's a big weak spot in KT and, sorrowfully, it branches from the very thing that drives the game: There's no incentive to keep characters alive. There is a famous horror movie axiom, credited to Joe Bob Briggs: "Anybody can die at any time".  Who's next?  When?  In the movies KT seeks to emulate, it's a primary source of tension.  Applied mechanically in the game, it's a convenience.  This is, in my estimation, the game's deadliest mechanical weak spot.  There's really nothing keeping players from having their characters stick their heads into wood chippers in the first scene or so, just to get buffs. 

Or to create iconic images.

Well, the GM could stop them.  But the GM section is more focused on establishing chaos than it is on capturing that b-movie feel.  To a certain degree, that's expected; after all, b-movies aren't known for being character studies, or for having clever, immersive plots.  But the GM section seems to encourage a "screw it, let the heads fly!" attitude a little too much.  As I said before, Tony Lee gets this stuff.  I'd love to know a little more about how he "gets" it.

You do, however, get to read a lot of his jokes.  The tone of his writing is very informal, very friendly -- but sometimes it feels like Tony is just trying too hard, and it gets uncomfortable.  What's worse is that it gets in the way of reading those swanky rules.  Many times I found myself back-tracking over a passage to dig out the meat I'd missed before, and in some cases, I found basic, integral concepts explained to me after they'd been used, replacing a bunch of Huh?s with an Oh, NOW y'tell me.  This tone was kind of a problem in Extreme Vengeance, and although I defended it there, here I will tut-tut and mention how many times I had to flip back through pages.

And speaking of pages:  Page numbers are a little, tiny detail.  No page numbers are kind of annoying.

Now...let me make a point very clear, here, as a reviewer.  The only reason I'm railing on these details is because I see them as cringe-worthy flaws in an otherwise clever, outstanding and totally tubular game.

So.  Is it worth your three bucks?  Yeah, totally.  Buy it, mess with it, play it.  Have fun, damn it.  Encourage Tony Lee and Time Out Diversions to keep on truckin'...

...and to keep sharpening the blade.

If you know what I mean.

Mercenaries, Spies & Private Eyes: Campaign Frames

Kayso I took a notebook with me in the car today and I wrote down some --

-- no, my wife was driving. And anyway, I did this in the parking lot at JoAnn Fabrics. ANYWAY, I wrote down some ideas, as they came to me, for games I could run with MS&PE. I reproduce them here for your amusement:

• Private eyes investigating a covert alien invasion in 1940s Hollywood
• 1980s high pulp -- Miami Vice meets Buckaroo Banzai
• The A-Team -- crack squad of troubleshooters who get stuff done without the cops catching on
• Delta Green
• INTERPOL develops an enforcement division, and you're it
• A privately-funded intelligence/counter-terrorist organization; PCs are agents
• Meddling kids with a talking dog
• Interplanetary P.I.s -- Blade Runner meets Northwest Smith
• DG-esque: PCs are members of a secret society that battles the modern-day forces serving an ancient Aztec evil
• STARGATE: 1941
• P.I.s in a 1930s NYC with technology at 1990s capabilities (vacuum tube computers, early robots, etc.)

PS I'll get back to ya on the Jammin' Jim thing, but the short version is: Nothing much has happened yet.

I Hope Lead Is Tasty, 'Cause IT'S BULLET-BITIN' TIME

Sittin' here at my desk, at work, right?  Bein' a cool little Fonzie.  Door from the tooling room opens and in steps Jim.  "Okay," he says, "who in here has played Dungeos & Dragons?"

Wellllll...  "Pwaaah, dude", I say.  "I -- here."  I open up a desk drawer and flash my work dice.

Jammin' Jim's in his early 50s, and he sculpts dies for a living.  Dies, as in tooling dies -- here at work, we make stuff outta metal.  I have no idea why Jim's gotta know what about D&D, but, hey -- I am an ambassador.

Hey, old buddy!  How ya -- wait -- GET OFF MY LAWN!

"Okay," he says.  "I was tryin' to play it with my grandson and one of his buddies, 'cause we got him the starter set, and I was flippin' through the books and I couldn't figure out how to get the second player in.  It comes with two books..."

"Ah!"  I say.  "Red box, got the dude fighting a dragon?"

"Yeah, yeah," says Jim.

And I think, Damn.  'Cause he's teaching his grandson to play from a 4e product which I've never even seen and I don't know what advice I'll be able to give, that's why.

So anyway, Jim describes a bit more of his dilemma and I do my best to grok him.  From what it sounds like, the intro scenario in the new red box is a programmed adventure for one player -- but it's probably not for one player, it's just that Jim's not sure how the paragraphs relate to a group and not just one player -- and when it would be another player's turn.

Okay.  Okay.  I'm gettin' Jim's problem, now.  I try to explain the difference between such a programmed adventure and regular play, and about combat rounds and initiative and stuff.  But then I say, "Look -- you wanna bring the game in tomorrow?"

"I can bring it in later today," he says, "if you wanna have a look at it and see what I'm doing wrong."

"It's a newer edition, and a lot of us grumpy old guys are real 'Nyarrr, raaaawrrr rawwwrrr!' [you know grumbly noises] about these new rules," I caution.  "And I don't know a lot about the new edition.  But let me have a look at it and I'll see what's goin' on."

And then -- then.  Then, my spine stiffens, my jaw squares, my gut steels and dammit, I know What Must Be Done.

"You'd do it for Randolph Scott."

"Do the boys still wanna play?"  I ask.

"Yeah," says Jim.  "If I tell them I figured out what was wrong, they'll try it again."

"Say, Jim...why don't we get organized and I'll run a game for the three of you."

"Okay," he says.  "Yeah, we should arrange that."



So today, my friends, today...I will be looking at the 4e rules.

'Course, I could just run S&W and say, "This is how you game", and let 'em play their own choice of rules...

If You Want My Body, And You Think I'm Sexy

Thanks to all the readers who pointed me to The Wormworld Saga as the source of yesterday's image.  It certainly looks worth my time to read the wh--

-- Rod Stewart songs.  See?  Lyrics from Rod Stewart songs.

Some Guys Have All The Luck

Source unknown; my boss e-mailed this to me.

Man...I gotta play some FRPG.  Not run; but play.

Huh.

I'll be damned.

Chainmail -- INNNNNNN SPAAAAAAAAACE...!

So I'm knockin' around the idea of a starship combat game inspired by Chainmail's troop-type battle system, and informed a bit by A Sky Full Of Ships.  Dig:

	Fighter wing	Corvette	Destroyer	Battleship	Dreadnought
Fighter wing	1 die for each attacking	1 die for each 2 attacking	1 die for each 3 attacking	1 die for each 4 attacking	1 die for each 6 attacking
Corvette	1 die for each attacking; 5+	2 die for each attacking	3 dice for each attacking	2 dice for each attacking	1 die for each attacking
Destroyer	2 dice for each attacking; 5+	3 dice for each 1 attacking	2 dice for each attacking	1 dice for each attacking; 5+	1 die for each  attacking
Battleship	2 dice for each attacking; 4+	4 dice for each 1 attacking	3 dice for each 1 attacking	2 dice for each attacking	1 die for each  attacking
Dreadnought	2 dice for each attacking; 4+	5 dice for each 1 attacking	4 dice for each 1 attacking	3 dice for each 1 attacking	2 die for each attacking

TYPE OF SHIP	KILLS TO DESTROY
Fighter Wing	1
Corvette	2
Destroyer	4
Battleship	5
Dreadnougt	6

KILLS ARE ON A “6” UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED

Okay so basically: When your ship attacks my ship, cross-reference your ship with my ship and you roll so many dice.  Each "6" (unless otherwise noted) is a "kill".  After so many kills, a ship goes blooey.

Fighters are at a bit of an advantage -- they're small and hard to hit, but a a good barrage can wipe them all out.  I dunno about Destroyers vs. Battleships, though.  I just wanted each ship to be able to roll at least 1 die.

I'm not good at this.

EDIT: Those numbers are all jacked up.  Fix later when not at work.

I Saw "Tangled" (And You Should Too)

Like it says up there:  I saw Tangled.  Disney movie.  Got a princess in it.  Handsome dude.  Horse.  You know.

PICTURED: Not The Horse.

Like it also says, you should see it, too.  Okay, maybe not should, 'cause it's not life-or-death, but definitely could do much worse than to see it, too.  Reasons, you want?  I got 'em.

THE LONG MADE SHORT:  It's fun.  Genuinely so, at that.  It's a very entertaining film that breaks the Disney mold in places, and, to my mind, that needs to be rewarded.  Vote with your wallets, folks.  THIS COMES FROM SOMEONE WHO, TRADITIONALLY, GIVES DISNEY THE STINK-EYE.  (More on that later.)

MORE INFO THAN THAT:  Listen, did you hear about how Disney was going to title the film Rapunzel, but switched marketing tactics and tried aiming it more at boys and parents instead of just at girls?  It's true; The Princess And The Frog pleased critics but wasn't a big box office performer, so someone at Disney said -- "Well, hell, cousin, let's make movies for girls AND boys!  Get more butts inna seats!"

IT WORKED. The movie is fun even for a cranky-butt like me.  Plus...it's making money. 

Money, as you know, talks.  In this case, the money that you spend going to see this movie (besides snagging you a better time at the movies than TRON: Legacy was), says something to Disney.  It says, "Break that mold.  Push a little bit.  Cast the net wider.  You can appeal to a wider audience if you take that risk."

It also says, "John Lasseter has the right damn job."

Oh, you know who John Lasseter is.  Pixar, right?  The dude whose Wikipedia entry says he is

[A]n American animator, director and the chief creative officer at Pixar and Walt Disney Animation Studios. He is also currently the Principal Creative Advisor for Walt Disney Imagineering.

Chief creative officer.  Calling the shots, in other words.  Ever watch an interview with him?  I have.  Guy loves animation.  He is an artist first, businessman second.  He wants to take animation places, and bring you along for the ride.

American animation needs him. 

I have bitched about the state of animation before.  I have also looked down my nose at Disney's output for a long time -- perhaps unfairly, I generally equate "Disney" with "mediocre", if not in terms of technical ability but in terms of content.  A few exceptions (Atlantis, Treasure Planet, The Black Cauldron, Fantasia) aside, their stuff makes me go ho-hum.  Well, the dragon in Sleeping Beauty was pretty swank, but for every bad-ass black dragon and magic sword combo, you get about a dozen sappy song/cute animal friend salads.  Maybe the movies are better than that, but they certainly haven't attracted me.  But they've attracted a lot of other people, and, in a sense, contributed to this notion that animated movies are for kids or, worse, just for little girls.  I have a little girl; I'm all for animation for little girls*.  I'm not for the idea that animation is just for a given section of the population. 

I am definitely pro-animation-for-girls-with-Melee-(Frying Pan)-5D.

So all of a sudden, here's Disney -- in my mind, the worst offender because of what they could but wouldn't -- suddenly switching gears, and casting the net a little wider. 

Yesssss.  Fingertips steepled, hunched over my desk.  Yesssssssss...!

It's not Heavy Metal.  It's not even Titan A.E. or Sinbad - Legend of the Seven Seas.  But it is most people's synonym for animation, Disney, taking a chance.  Taking a chance and succeeding, by making a movie that truly has stuff for the whole family -- I don't just mean that it's family-friendly, in that there is nothing objectionable (which there isn't), but rather by making a movie with something everyone in a family can enjoy.  A movie with a heroine that'll inspire little girls without being sappy, a hero young boys will want to pretend to be, a pair of villains you'll want as NPCs in your D&D game...

The Stabbington Twins, voiced by Ron Perlman: Fighting-Men, lvl. 4.  You're welcome.

...a movie with gorgeous art direction, smooth animation and truly beautiful lighting; a movie where some of the best comedy business is delivered by a perpetually-drunken dwarf in a diaper.

Yes.  You read that right.  Dwarf.  Drunk.  Diaper. 

In a Disney movie.

Animated.

"For kids".

Go see it.  Tell that damn mouse to keep up the good work.

*(My little girl prefers Batman Beyond and Rocky & Bullwinkle, though.)

CKG UPDATE

From the Troll Lord forums (fora?):

Here is where we stand on the CKG:

As you know we own our own print shop and bindery. The bindery is a very new edition and not 100% operational for hardback books. That which we cannot do, we outsource to a company in Georgia. We did this for the M&T of Aihrde hardback and the Gods & Monsters. It proved to be a complete disaster, the time lag is huge, the aims not clear, and problems quickly mounted. So during the week before Christmas we invested in a further expansion of the bindery and have purchased the necessary equipment to bring this about...or rather in typical Troll fashion, we purchased the necessary components to make this happen, and we'll assemble it ourselves. I finalized the deal today (December 28, 2010) and the equipment is ready to ship...of course Europe (where it is manufactured) and the Northern part of the States (where it ships to first) is blanketed in a blizzard of epic proportions.

So, what does this mean? It means that the CKG hardcover, the one everyone has pre-ordered is still another week or two out. That's bad news for all those who want to see it, but good news for all those who have it and can locate any last minute editorial mistakes that our editors and myself may have missed.

Please put all editorial mistakes here in this thread. I will check daily and enter the texts into the original document so that when the final goes to press for the release, we can get it as close to perfect as possible.

Thank you for your continued patience.
Steve

post script: The digest version is available for sale, as are all the digest versions, in our online store.

So that's what.

THEM PIGS IS A-FLYIN'

Kayso my buddy Jacob totally has a copy of the Castles & Crusades Castle Keeper's Guide, like, IN HIS HOUSE.  And he wouldn't lie to me 'cause he knows it'd make me cry, and so who wants to see THAT? 

In other words -- YES.  THE CASTLE KEEPER'S GUIDE HAS BEEN PUBLISHED.

I got one coming to me via mail, I'm pretty sure...

I Inkscaped A Star Map.

See, 'cause Daniel over at World Without Syn keeps making keen stuff with Inkscape.  And I keep hammering on him about HEY DO SOME TUTORIALS DEMONSTRATING HOW YOU DO THAT THING.  And finally he was all like *SIGH* FINE WHATEVER DOC GEEZ GET OFF MY LEG and he did one.

So I followed it, and -- VOI-LA!

Click to make way too damn big

New STAR WARS RPG On The Way

WHOA-HO!  What the -- ?!  Robot Viking reports that the STAR WARS game license has been acquired by "mystery game company that has yet to make any kind of official announcement". 

Hmm.  Mystery game company.

It's known who doesn't hold the license:

Several companies this week announced that they were not successful in their pursuit of the valuable Star Wars license from Lucasarts, including Paizo, Mongoose, Margaret Weis Productions, Steve Jackson Games, and Green Ronin.

Through logical deduction, and accounting for the fact that the license covers RPG, trading card- and miniatures game rights, Robot Viking opines that the new license holder is probably Fantasy Flight Games.

The guess makes sense.  The only FFG RPG products that I'm aware of are the Horizon d20 minigames, but I doubt that they'd go back to that well.  Do they have a house system?  Would they devise a new one?  Only time will tell.

And me all starry eyed, you'd think that I would have known by now.

As it turns out, though, Robot Viking posits the possibility of another licensee -- one that I, frankly, would prefer over FFG, if only because I'm familiar (and pleased) with their RPG output:

Cubicle 7.

Look -- I dunno about you, but I think that FATE 3.0 would work just dandy fine for STAR WARS RPG shenanigans.  In fact, I've used it for (short-lived PBEM) STAR WARS RPG shenanigans, and I liked it.

Granted that there's nothing preventing anyone else from doing same.  Still and all, if it's gonna be in print, I'm totally down with STAR WARS FATE.

Then again -- there is a certain OGL system floating around which juuuuuust might fit the bill...

I Juana Weesh You A Mary Cree-Muss

Okay, so...Merry Christmas, folks!

*gasp*  WHAT?!  "Merry Christmas"?!  From Doc Rotwang!?  But -- but-- !  Doc Rotwang! is a filthy damn baby-eating godless damn filthy A-T-H-E-I-S-T!  Why would a filthy damn baby-eating godless damn filthy atheist wish anyone a Merry Christmas?

Why?  Because I'm not a callous, heartless jerk.  Being an atheist doesn't make you a callous, heartless jerk.  Being a callous, heartless jerk makes you a callous, heartless jerk and I do my best not to be a callous, heartless jerk.

You know...look.  I live in the United States.  We got Christmas here, and it's not going away.  Nor do I want it to go away, because I actually sort of enjoy it.  So I've decided that I will enjoy it, and wish a Merry Christmas to everyone else, too, while I'm at it.

So why do I enjoy it?  I certainly don't believe believe that it marks the birth of Christ; that is most likely to have happened in Summer or Fall to begin with, and it's pretty damned obvious that what we call 'Christmas' is an old pagan holiday marking the winter solstice, hijacked by guys with a book and some power.  I won't go into all of that, because others have covered it already.  So no need to recap.

What I like about Christmas is that very original identity as a pagan celebration.  "Dammit!  It's cold, dark and shitty outside.  We need cheering up.  So...let's build a fire, put lights on things that don't normally have lights, drink something hot and eat!  Whoooo!"

THIS MAKES COMPLETE AND TOTAL SENSE TO ME BECAUSE FUCK WINTER.

Oh, and the gifts.  Yeah, I like getting gifts.  I like giving gifts.  I like sharing.  I like that there's a convenient excuse for everyone to try -at least- to focus on the compassion and camaraderie that makes us human.  We are social animals; animals, yes, but capable of compassion.  That's a big thing about what makes us human, and I like to celebrate it.  It's a common theme at Christmas, and like I say -- Christmas ain't goin' anywhere, sooooo...

Actually, I like to celebrate human compassion all year long, because it's just that important.  As far as I'm concerned, when it come up at Christmastime, that's just everyone else catching up to me.

I cannot, and would not, and should not and will not and don't want to speak for all atheists on anything but a few things.  But for me, one of the cornerstones of my atheism is the love for life and the quality of it -- and not just my life.  When I say "quality of life", I mean EVERYONE'S life, even the lives of people with whom I disagree, or who would see me harmed or censured because they disagree with me.  I don't care about those things.

I care about life mattering, and being experienced, and being treasured and being lived like it's the only one we'll ever get, because it IS. 

So.

Merry Christmas.  If you celebrate it for secular reasons, great.  If you celebrate it for religious reasons, great.  If you celebrate it because you like eggnog and it's hard to find the rest of the year, great.  If you call it -- whatever you call your holidays.  Whatever.  It's like this:

Enjoy it, damn you.

Hey, Everybody! It's Gamer Quiz Time, Yipee!

Thanks to Badger for pointing me toward this thing.  It's short and easy and fun.  Plus -- BAR GRAPH!

http://quizfarm.com/quizzes/Fashion/ellydragon/laws-game-style/

NOTE: I was gonna post my results, buuuuuuut the HTML table was all funked up when I C&P'd it into El Bloggero.  Whattaya gonna do.

Here's To Future Days!

Slow dancing...anything I want.

So whatcha got right now is your Winter Solstice, see, and that means that we've seen the Sun at its lowest high point in the sky this year -- in other words, less daytime, more night-time.  After that, right, is where things start to flip-flop:  More daytime, less night-time.

Now, I know that night time is the right time for...well, lots of stuff, it's true, and not just the stuff in Sheena Easton songs.  But "less daytime" equates to "less sunlight" and that equates to "colder" and SCREW COLD IN ITS FACE.

So!  What have we learned (besides that Sheena Easton's song "9 To 5" was retitled "Morning Train" in the US, so as to avoid confusion with the Dolly Parton single)?  Well, we can deduce a few things, namely:

1. Dr Rotwang! took Astronomy 101;
2. He has a funny way of explaining stuff about axial tilt;
3. From today on, the days'll get longer and the nights shorter -at least until the Summer Solstice, when the process reverses, but it's OK because it's warm out and things don't start to get cold and sucky until the Vernal Equinox- which will result in a gradual increase in temperature on the northern hemisphere, which is where Dr Rotwang! keeps all his stuff; and
4. SCREW COLD RIGHT IN ITS FACE.

 So!  Now!  There.  Dig it.  It's science, dammit.

Great.  You guys cogitate while I go outside and punch the crap outta some snow.  DON'T DRINK ALL MY EGG NOG!

(Just Can't Resist) Showing Off

Tonight, my extended family will engage in a tradition we call "Dirty Santa". 

It's not a Zak Sabbath title, no.

No, what Dirty Santa is, is it is this:  Everyone brings a wrapped gift of some sort.  It doesn't matter what it is as long as someone there might like it.  Then, everyone takes a turn picking a gift -- either an as-yet unidentified wrapped one from the pile, or an unwrapped one that someone else has.  Eventually everyone's got something, and we all had fun yoinking stuff away from one another, ha ha ha.

I'm bringing a mix CD, and this is the insert for the jewel case:

 

Clickity-click.  Yes, I misspelled "Hazard" on the cover.

But there's a trick to it -- it comes bundled with a sock.  A single sock.  YOU CANNOT HAVE THE CD AND NOT HAVE THE SOCK.

It's a brand-new sock, though.

Goodbye, Stargate Universe

Goodbye, Stargate Universe.  There is the door; you may use it.

Wherein I Betray The OSR (Well, Just A Little Bit)

I work with this dude I'm gonna call "The Oatmeal Kid".  The Oatmeal Kid used to play D&D with some of his homies -- a couple of whom I know.  He still has some dice and stuff, and plenty of good memories.

The Kid also has a son.  We'll call him Bonesy, because this is my blog dammit and I'm listening to Jean-Luc Ponty and so get outta my face and also that's what his dad calls him.  Lad's 11 years old.  Finds his dad's dice.  "Hey, Dad, what's this, eh?  Eh?  Eh?" happens, and BOOM the kids wants to get his game on.

Swank times, sez I.

But I thought THIS.

So The Oatmeal Kid comes up to me and asks about the state of D&D, and how can he get Bonesy set up to game, and so on.  Cheerful ambassador that I am, I hook The Kid (the Oatmeal one) up with links a-plenty to some retro-clones.  I gave him some dice and stuff.  Good to go, right?

Well, Bonesy musta dug it all because today The Oatmeal Kid told me that he and Mrs. Oatmeal want to buy the boy some D&D swag for Xmas.  He asked me, "I was thinking of getting him the fourth edition.  What do you think?"

Right then, my stomach twisted.  I was -- well, remember that time you were on Corumna Alpha III and you had to nuke all the chromazebras to ensure that the atmosphere stayed mucus-free?  It was just like that.  'Cause I knew what the boy had to have.

Reluctantly, I zapped The Kid a link to WotC's page for The Red Box That Isn't The Red Box No Matter What Color It Is.  I tried to find him a freely-downloadable quick-start, but no go.  So I wrote him this e-mail:

Most companies publish a free "Quick Start" product, usually downloadable, which teaches basic rules and gives you a taste so you can try before you buy.  Not so Wizards of the Coast, sadly.  I'd refer you to some other commercially-available games that do have such quick-starts, but here's the thing:

They're not D&D. 

In other words, 4th Edition (4E) is The New Hotness.  It's what's In Stores Now.  It's The Brand Name.  His homies are more likely to have heard of (or be playing) D&D in the form of 4E. 

4E is not the D&D you played with Erko and your pals.  That stuff (Erko ran 1st and 2nd Eds. of AD&D back then, I know for a fact) was born of the free-wheeling spirit of the late 70s and early 80s.  4E is much more guided by Magic: The Gathering and other card games, with more rigid rules, more pre-programed options and more...

...fuck, it makes me sad to talk about it. 

But then, before I clicked SEND, I added the following:

Your choice.  You know the kid.  My suggestion?  Give him the WotC Starter Set and a copy of the latest Castles & Crusades Quick Start, and tell him: "This red box is how they play it now, but this Castles & Crusades stuff is how the co-creator of D&D played his own damn game before he died". 

I don't know how this is gonna play out, but there it is:  I gave him the choices.

Dust-Up At The SE Corral

Herein, cross-posted, my contribution to a thread at The RPG Stack Exchange which resulted from my previous comments about said site.

It's very easy, apparently, to take my blog post out of context. One of my cardinal rules, stated elsewhere in my blog, is that I don't talk smack unless it's really deserved.

You can't say "dust-up" and NOT think of this guy.

I'm not interested in, have not played, and cannot comment upon the 4th edition of D&D. Thus, upon seeing a proliferation of questions about said game, I find that I can't really help. I found myself plowing past piles and mounds of questions to which I can contribute nothing, in search of something with which I could help -- and I really didn't find much.

My point was: Everybody's talkin' 'bout stuff I can't talk about.

I feel powerless, unable to really help. That's just the way it is; no helping it.

I will admit that being voted down for presenting a possible answer that wasn't apparently welcome left a bad taste in my mouth, especially when I was sincerely trying to help by presenting a different light under which to look at AD&D and answering from experience, having once felt the same way about AD&D's supposed inadequacy for certain in-game activities. But that's the nature of the internet -- it's the nature of humanity, really. No helping that, either. That's why I said (in metaphor) that I could ignore that, but I was still left with all these 4.0 questions that I can't help with, and only a few other questions which I might be able to answer.
Filtering tags and so on helps -- to a point. I now see questions that I can address more quickly, but they are not great in number. Still, it's something, and I pitch in where I can.

The fact is that 4.0 is The New Hotness. I am still down with the Old-And-Busted.

*shrug* What can ya do?

ADD-1701

...dangit!

Look, man -- I don't know why, but for the last few days I've been feeling an itch to play a Star Trek RPG.

It may have to do with the fact that I've never played a Star Trek game before -- that makes it enticing, interesting, seductive.  A new experience.

I've picked out a set of the rules from the many, many, many available to me:  The FASA game from the early 1980s.

"...to boldly go to, uh...art school."

I sincerely think that "Where No Man Has Gone Before", the MicroLite20 variant, is totally aces.  I feel the same about Risus.  But somethin' in my blood tells me that it's this one.  Why?  Hell, I dunno.  All I know is that I want to run a Star Trek game in the TOS/TAS era, ignoring canon post-1978, and that the PCs would be the crew of an Antares-class ship -- in fact, the non-canonical Antares-class:

Armed with an OCR scan of the old rulebook, the Starfleet Technical Manual and LUG's Star Trek Narrator's Guide by some fulano name of J R Sauce or somethin' (WTF, right?) and my own...umn...let's just call it a "mania", I am ready to roll up some characters, put 'em on the above starship and start makin' stuff up.

My buddies would probably play; my wife, not so much.

Well, it's not like I'm playing anything at all these days...

Why I'm Blah About RPG Stack Exchange

Hey!, I thought.  A question-and-answer thing about RPGs!  Nice!  I'll try it.

So I registered and got started.  Asked a question, two.  Got some good answers.  Gave a few.  Got a little excited.  Badges...Reputation...okay, that's cool.  More excited.

But then...then.

I looked around to see if there were any questions I could help with.  It went like this:

Okay!  Ahhh...see here...D&D 4.0, D&D 4.0, D&D 4.0...Dogs in the Vin- no...D&D 4.0, D&D 4.0, D&D 4-- AHA!  Call of Cthu-- no, that's got plenty of answers already.  D&D 4.0, D&D--OOH!  HEY!  AD&D 1st Ed. question!

So I peek in on a guy looking for help turning a Thief into a Con Man.  In other words -- where are AD&D's social interaction rules?

The first answer was one of those definitive "AD&D sucks for that, it can't do that, it's all about combat" things, which I hold to be untrue.  I offered polite disagreement, and further added some ideas about how one could resolve these things with dice mechanics in the event that role-playing (as in "Role-Playing Game")  were insufficient.

Cue blustery rebuttals, insistence that AD&D is all about what you can't do, and suggestions that if D&D doesn't say you can't do X, then why not just play "Candyland", since that doesn't say you can't do X either?

...Dude...whatever.  But thanks for undoing my attempt to help on, like, the one thing I could.

Well.  That bathwater's out the window, but all the baby seems to say is, "4.0, 4.0, 4.0."

So why am I blah about RPG Stack Exchange?

Because it's like an ass-kicking contest, and I only got half a leg.

Yay/Boo

YAY:  World Without Syn is back.  The author listens to Synergy.  How cool is that?

BOO:  It snowed.