Wednesday, October 24, 2007

I Don't Know Nothin' 'Bout Jangoin' No Fetts

So my little "Re-write Star Wars - Episode I" project took root. Yesterday I wrote an 8-page scene between Anakin (here, about 18 years old and a snarky young grease-monkey) and Obi-Wan (about 25 or so, adjusting to being a Jedi Knight), and it was FUN.

Oh, my, was it fun.

It was "I Can't Wait To Get Back To Writing Some More Of It" fun.

So I've decided to keep going. Today, it's the opening scene; I don't have a crawl yet, becuase I don't know what my B-plot is. The A-plot revolves around Obi-Wan protecting Anakin from the Sith (in my book, a dark Jedi cult with big plans), and Anakin dealing with the fact that he may or may not fulfill a prophecy about The Force (not to bring balance to it, but to destroy the balance) when all he wants to do is win races, soup up hot rods and chase girls. He is an orphan; he's not Jesus. He doesn't say "Yipee!". He's actually a lot like Han Solo, and he didn't build C-3P0 (but he did re-build R2-D2, whom he found in a trash heap).

But the B-plot remains. I know exactly dingus about it, except that it needs to be epic in scale, it needs to NOT involve separatists and whiny bankers, and it needs to lead into the Clone Wars.

No, sorry.

My idea of the Clone Wars.

As a teenager, the Clone Wars held great mystery to me. Clones? Wars? Wars AGAINST clones? BECAUSE of clones? To GET clones? I didn't know. No one knew. All I knew was that Obi-Wan and Anakin fought together in them alongside Leia's "father", and that Madalorians, who were utter stone-cold bad-ass mercenaries with Wookiee braids on their armor, were somehow involved. Somewhere in there the Jedi were persecuted and kacked en masse and then the Empire rose up. Everything else was nebulous, unanswered, pure speculation. The definitive story would come along in time; until then, I could play the RPG.

It'd be silly to say that I was disappointed in the prequels because they didn't match my expectations. Of COURSE they couldn't! Why WOULD they? No, I was disappointed in the prequels because I didn't like the answers I got, how I got them or who was in them. I liked Qui-Gon Jinn, and Mace Windu had a lot of potential. Young Obi-Wan was cool but kind of one-dimensional. I didn't really like any of the other characters, to be frank.

So now I'm playing an RPG again, but instead of assuming the role of a Rebel PC and throwing dice, I'm assuming the role of the screenwriter. And it's not about thinking I can do any better.

It's about thinking that I can do, and then doing.

So no Gungans. Bad-ass Mandalorians. Rogueish, immature Anakin. No political commentary. More engaging characters. No wuxia Jedi fights, either, even though the Jedi are based on Samurai. More hot rods. More female characters. More personal space battles. No Yoda, except mentioned in whispered tones. Sinister, devious, dark Sith.

And no midichlorians.

We'll see how it goes!