High up in the Grunting Hills (q.v.) stands this castle whose sturdy Formica walls are said to be unscalable. Upon its awesome Plasticine Throne sits La Dama Maria Juana Catalina Inés Chancluda Y Greñuda del Nombre Que Sigue Y Sigue Aviones Trenes Y Automóviles Basta De Esto Ya (q.v.), a foreigner with thoughts of conquest. She is guarded by a small army of warrior Mariachis who blindly and questioningly follow her every command.
Deep within the catacombs beneath Castle Botox, it is said there springd from the earth an enchanted fountain; and from this fountain, whispers say, flows a rich, creamy Magic Gravy (q.v.) which, imbibed, gives one great powers...
THE BUXOM STRUMPET
One of four taverns in Drunkard's Hollow (q.v.), The Buxom Strumpet is a mid-class dive in the center of town. It is decorated in a "rustic boudoir" style, with lots of red lampshades and bearskin rugs and junk like that. The hooch is passable (for hooch, anyway), and there's plenty of it.
There is a buxom strumpet to be found here -- a wooden statue, her peeling paint worn off by time and drunken groping. She doesn't move.
If I thought I could stick to a plan, then yes, this would be a free pdf some day.