He replied, and I quote,
She-Ra.
And how does one play Call of Cthulu?
"The world is being devoured by an infinitely horrific entity larger than anything you can imagine. You can roll a d6 if you want to, but the fact is that no matter what number comes up, you will die in the ensuing cataclysm. Horribly. Want a Surge?"
<3,
-Mike
Oh, ha ha, Mike. Yeah, I'd never heard that one before.
So I fired this back at his punk ass, because he had it coming:
Ha ha ha. The Oldest Straw Man In The Book.
That's not how you play Cthulhu, yo. A good Cthulhu game is all about the investigation -- the building of dread, of tension, of the twisting of What You Know into What You Wish You Could Forget.
Sure, cosmic horror is built on the precept that we are alone in a cold, uncaring universe beyond our understanding control...but what makes that scary is that we, humans, are going to try to understand it and control it anyway. This of course explains and motivates the actions of your PCs and of their enemies. The ultimate conclusion may be a foregone one, but what you can do in the moment is a little triumph -or failure- all your own.
And that's heroic, and THAT is how you play Call of Cthulhu.
Chump.
I think the winner is clear, here. I mean, I like Mike, but the kid's a chump.