THE DUKES OF BIOHAZZARD
A Mini-Six Game of Post-Apocalyptic
Crick-Jumpin' Mayhem
INTRODUCTION; or, "What The Stink
IS This?!"
Well,
it's a Mini-Six Game of Post-Apocalyptic Crick-Jumpin' Mayhem. It
was inspired by a comment made some years ago on a blog, or on a
gamig forum, or something. It is driven by my desire to see how much
of a game supplement I can write on my luch hour, while listening to
"The Best Of Al Jarreau".
Yeah.
It's like that.
More
salient to your interests, "The Dukes of Biohazzard" is an
action/comedy game set in a mutated future USA, where all the PCs are
cousins, there are cars to drive and wreck, fuel to distill up in the
mountains and semi-intelligent electric kudzu. If you're of a
certain age, let me just say "Mad Max Meets The Dukes Of Hazzard
At Thundarr's", and it will all make sense.
See?
THE
SETTING; or, "Where The Stink does this happen?!"
Look,
matey, I'm not gonna lie to you--this setting is pretty vague, but
you've probably figured out that it's not the type of setting that
ought to be anything BUT vague. Still and all, here's where we are
and how we got there...
1980:
WHOOPS!
The
world was on the brink of nuclear war. The United States and the
United Socialist Soviet Republics had been ratlling their giant
thermonuclear sabres at each other for the last, like, twenty-five
years. Tensions mounted, ideologies clashed, political alliances
swayed and The Village People sold out stadiums. Truly the stage was
set for the end of times.
From a
remote base on the far side of the Moon, a team of Traxelian
scientists observed the conflicts closely, using their advanced alien
technology (they were aliens) to remain hidden and study the Earth's
human population. The Traxelian Xenosociologists at the base had
been gathering data for five years straight, looking for signs of
intelligence. They'd found it right away, but hesitated to publish
their results until such time as they had mapped a few select trends
in human sociological development and thus had some nifty charts to
submit with their papers.
Of
these scientists, one team in particular had been assigned to study
the effects of mass media communications on societal development,
specifically as related to variety programs. The team had been
fascinated by the content of a short-lived television program
starring American comedian Jeff Altman and Japanese singers Mitsuyo
Nemoto and Keiko Masuda, who together comprised the singing duo Pink
Lady (well, the girls did, not Jeff). The program recieved poor
viewership reactions on Earth (not so on the Traxilonian base), and the network struggled to find a successful time slot for it.
The
Traxilonians struggled to keep up with the scheduling changes and
soon became frustrated. In their efforts, they attempted to set up a
surface listening station outside of the production studio--a compact
device that would register and transmit tiny variations in the local
environment. The team applied for clearance to deploy the sensor
package, and received it right away. On April 4th,
1980, the Traxilonian lander set down in Hollywood California, and
began broadcasting via tight microwave beam to the Traxilonian base.
The
signals were detected by the US Military, reported to the CIA,
misidentified as a Russian plot, and caused World War III.
2012:
DANG!
32
years later, Earth's all mutated up and stuff. It all looks like
rural Alabama, only with glowing plants and weird messed-up creatures
and like that.
This
is the world of "The Dukes of Biohazzard".
MORE
LATER!
