It Serves You Right For Picking That Pocket

You got that player who likes to pick NPCs' pockets at random past the point where it ceases to be funny?  Yeah, you know the one.  Next time he gets on your nerves, let him pick a pocket, then roll a d20 and tell him that he finds --

1	A dead, stinky mouse. Who keeps a dead, stinky mouse in his pocket? Probably a wizard...or a necromancer. Right?
2	A half-eaten chicken leg.
3	A half-eaten raw chicken leg.
4	A small scrap of paper with the words "Red door on Bath Street – 'Ullmo'". Bath Street is somewhere in the city, and there is indeed on that street a house with a red door. If the PC goes there and knocks, he will be asked for the password (Ullmo). Upon giving it, the PC is allowed entry to the house...which hosts a halfling quilting circle. The PC will be expected to participate.
5	A dirty handkerchief. Save vs. Poison at a -4 penalty or contract a nasty flu (½ HP and -2 to-hit for 1d4+1 days).
6	A human finger, freshly severed. But whose? And why was it in somebody's pocket?
7	3 gold coins struck with an unusual symbol. No merchant will take them, and all are nervous when the coins are presented to them. The coins are "shadow coin" – they are used exclusively by a criminal network, and having them makes you noteworthy in all the worst ways.
8	A walnut. It can be eaten, but it's not very tasty.
9	The mark's pocket suddenly (and magically) constricts, trapping the pick-pocket's hand – no save! Needless to say, the owner notices...
10	A small, unsheathed razor blade. 1d4 damage and saving throw vs. Spells to avoid crying out in surprise.
11	3 silver pieces and a small ruby. Exciting! Closer inspection reveals them to be 3 pewter pieces and a chunk of glass.
12	A small pouch containing about 5 grams of a dark, pungent tobacco. It is of value (3d6 sp) only to a tobacconist who recognizes it as Matarkian Blackshank – and that is a rare tobacconist indeed! Who dares smoke it soon has his mouth taste like he just stuffed it with ashes and sauerkraut and lit the whole thing with a burning cow turd.
13	A key, grubby and blackened with age. It opens a chest in the basement of a tavern called The Shackled Priestess. The chest contains a soul jar within which is imprisoned the tavern's eponymous priestess, placed there sixty years ago by a jealous lover (the owner of the tavern). Finding and releasing her spirit, and matching it back to her body (turned to stone and hidden as a statue in a local temple) would be a great adventure with a great reward...if the pickpocket can only figure out where to start.
14	A finger-length wooden carving of a mastiff.  1d4 rounds after it is taken from the mark's pocket, it transforms into a real mastiff -- which, finding itself before someone other than its master, attacks.
15	A sticky wad of pine tar. It's hard to remove, and leaves the pickpocket with a strong, noticeable aroma for a day or two, making it hard not to draw attention.
16	The mark's coin purse will not budge – it is as though it weighed hundreds of pounds, yet its owner carries it with ease! It is obviously magical, but – how to acquire it...?
17	A scrap of paper listing five names. Four are crossed out. The fifth is that of the pickpocket.  75% chance that it is but a trick to fool would-be pickpockets; 10% that it's someone else with the same name.  Otherwise, the mark is an assassin with the PC's name on his list.
18	3d12 live caterpillars.
19	3d12 dead caterpillars.
20	The exact contents of the thief's own pocket, taken from his own pocket and pulled through the aetherial plane and onto his mark's pocket.