The game was titled "Mandingo".
It was diceless, and the characters were described like this:
THE CHEERLEADER
"Oh-my-GOD. This is like so- totally-lame. I want my money back from the manager of Australia."
You are better than
everyone else -- either they can't tell because they're so stupid or they won't
admit it because...because they're so stupid.
You drive a Hummer, for chrissakes. With an MP3 player and OnStar. This folklore class is just a damn elective
that stands between you and your MRS degree, and you're only here in the
Outback or whatever because you're keeping your eye on The Smart Jock. God, couldn't the damn class just go study,
like, beach anthropology? Or something?
GOOD AT
î
Cheering
î
Acrobatics
î
"Acting"
BAD AT
î
Noticing
obvious things
î
Taking
directions
î
Doing
anything more complex than your hair
THE SMART JOCK
" 'A rose
by any other name would still smell as sweet'.
Kind of like when the Colts traded Edgerrin James to the Cardinals and
he rushed for 94 yards and one touchdown."
Dude, you've totally
gotta ace this class or Coach will boot your ass off the team. But no sweat, though, no sweat -- you totally
get how, like, anthropology is distinguished from other social-science
disciplines by its emphasis on cultural relativity, in-depth examination of
context, and cross-cultural comparisons.
Plus, after this trip, you can say you've been to Australia, and
you might get to lay some transatlantic pipe with The Cheerleader while you're
here. Also, it'd be good to collect your
own notes on Aboriginal oral traditions related to Dreamtime, and you might get
to meet Crocodile Dundee.
GOOD AT
î
Athletics
î
Playing drums
on things that aren't really drums
î
Knowing,
like, folklore shit
BAD AT
î
Shutting up
at the appropriate moment
î
Keeping your
cool when things go bad
î
Forming
interpersonal relationships which do not involve slapping somebody's ass
THE PROFESSOR
"Remember,
people, just because these folks don't have a Starbucks doesn't mean they're
savages; it just means they pay less for coffee."
The Peoples of the Earth
-- that's your passion. Knowing,
learning and sharing your knowledge of the varied cultures of the world is the
noblest goal you could ever set for yourself.
Well, that, and Department Chair.
The research you gather on this trip will prove invaluable for your
thesis, and these students will help you get it while they gain valuable
real-world experience. It's
win/win! You might even list them in a
footnote.
GOOD AT
î
Soulless,
ivory-tower Academia
î
Persuasion
î
Being the
center of attention
BAD AT
î
Violence
(barbaric!)
î
Respecting
someone else's opinion
î
Understanding
the Jock's sports references
THE OBSESSIVE
OVER-ACHIEVER
"This might
just be another class trip for you, but for me, it's another opportunity for
achievement. That's really good, I
should write that down."
You know...you don't really
hate the other students. No, it's
nothing like that. You're just -- they're
just not in the same place as you, really -- that's what it is. They're here to pass the class but you're
here to make a mark, to improve, to expand, to exceed. They mistake your studiousness and focus for
standoffishness and alienation; plus, they don't share your love of The
Cure. Therefore, you're willing to
sacrifice social mingling for excellence.
And anyway, it's not like you have anything really in common with
the Jock, and frankly, nothing you say to The Cheerleader is going to get her
pants off.
GOOD AT
î
Having
Brilliant Ideas (given enough time to agonize over options)
î
Taking notes
î
Retreating in
order to consider all avenues of -- okay, okay, hiding
BAD AT
î
Making
friends with people your age
î
Breaking
concentration long enough to, you know, eat and sleep
î
Mackin' on
the ladies
THE
PISTOL-PACKIN' GUIDE
"Out here,
mate, ya got yer monitor lizards, yer saltwater crocs, yer dingoes and yer
kookaburras. 'And I got a 30-06 Browning 1922 to cark 'em all like a piece of
piss."
[Personality? Motivation?
Goals? Whatever. You're Crocodile Dundee meets Eugene
Tackleberry from the Police
Academy movies. That's all you get and, frankly, that's all
you really need.]
GOOD AT
î
Survival
(Outback)
î
Area
Knowledge (Outback)
î
Killing Stuff
(Outback)
BAD AT
î
Complex
concepts
î
Shutting up
when you really ought to
î
Anything
remotely girly (like, say, not killing)